Sunday, August 22, 2010

Why do people always asume childfree people will change their minds in the future?

I mean, seriously. I've seen a lot of answers on my questions, and they say that I'll change my mind in the future, which is highly a doupt. I don't want kids! I been thinking that way for 4 years.





People say they don't want kids ever, and people just change their words and say that they will someday, like jeez. That's very annoying!





Why do people assume that? It's none of their business! If people say they don't ever want kids, then they don't want kids! It's the childfree person's life, not those who assume that!





So why do people always asume childfree people will change their minds in the future?

Why do people always asume childfree people will change their minds in the future?
It annoys the h*ll out of me when people say that! I have known since I was 15 that I did not want kids, and have never even once thought "oh maybe" or anything like that. And I am well enough into my adult years to know it is never going to change. Another ignorant remark that annoys me is when people say "people who are barren/sterile just say that to cover up that they cannot have children". I am NOT barren, I DO NOT want children.





One good thing to do, if they keep pressing you, is ask "why did/do you want kids?"
Reply:I am right with you. I have been hearing about kids, and when are you having kids, and don't you want kids (no), and youir mother wants grandkids (no, she doesn't) as far back as I can remember. Now when people ask me, I give them the real reasons in response: We are not ready for children. We do not have enough money to give them the life they deserve. We have things that we must do first. We have personal issues that we have to deal with, that would be unfair and inappropriate to bring children into. I married in my mid-30s, and it will probably be too late by the time we can provide them with a good, stable environment.


But people STILL say, "I can't wait for you to have kids!" Well, I feel sorry for you, because you will be waiting for a long time.


There are 6.5 BILLION people in the world. Why is it so important to others whether we contribute one or two more?
Reply:People in general should really mind their own business. Why should someone's preference for kids or not bother them. Not wanting kids doesn't mean they are selfish.
Reply:Most of the time people are a bit self-centered and can't see past their own happiness or ideals. Happy parents can't always understand how others can have fulfilling lives without kids and unhappy parents tend to project their jealousy of a free lifestyle onto those who chose not to have children. I myself do not want children and face this comment often, particularly from my boyfriend's family. I just brush it off as rudeness and presumtiveness that some people are self-centered in their opinions and not at all open to what might make another individual happy. Some people just don't understand that kids aren't for everyone. But if someone really cares that much about your decision that they're trying to make you feel guilty or like a bad person for it, you don't need them in your life anyway.
Reply:I wonder the same thing. I don't want to have kids. I would rather have 10 dogs and cats and have the opportunity to travel the world. Plus kids are EXPENSIVE. I would rather spend my money traveling the world then providing a life. Maybe when I'm done traveling I will adopt but having kids...not for me.
Reply:Well I know for sure that I will never have kids, unlike the previous answerers on here. I don't want kids either. Well, it's probably because I'm gay and I know 100% that I will never get with a girl or adopt any children.
Reply:i think that a lot of people do not want kids until they meet a potential partner.. then the nesting thing hits you and so on.. sometimes these people who do not want kids find each other and it works out well.. unfortunately i think more frequently that people who do not want kids end up having them to satisfy their partner.. these children always seem to know their one parent didn't really want them..
Reply:because the people saying that are people who either HAVE kids or WANT kids, and its hard for them to imagine anybody not wanting to have kids. Plus, lots of people who say that they don't want kids do, indeed, end up changing their minds.
Reply:They are just plain rude. Have you not noted how so many "self proclaimed correctors" there are in the world. They think you have the right to their opinion. They think they have the right to tell you how to live.





Also you have to keep in mind that most people don't know that having children is an option. So many think that you must have children, and that is just the way it is.





I was in the military almost 20 years ago. Being child-free then was very uncool. I had a Chief Master Sargent that had no use for the child-free. He felt that I was some kind of "nutcase" that had no place in "his" military. Back then the military was not made up of enlightened thinkers (before the Clinton years). I was even suspected of being gay because I had been married for 5 years but had no children. They sent me to see a psychiatrist were I was asked a lot of questions about my sex life.
Reply:I've been told they say those sorts of things on the basic principle that "Misery Loves Company!" They don't want to feel "alone" in their misery of child-rearing.





I made the decision in college that I was NOT "mommie" material, and did not wish to have children... PERIOD. I have kept to that promise, and no amount of cajoling on others' parts has ever swayed me.





Sometimes I joke about not having children, because if I did, I'd be in jail on child abuse charges by now. The usual response to that one is, "Oh, it's DIFFERENT when they're your OWN." This is a total fallacy, it is NOT different when the children are your own. In fact it is WORSE. The majority of people in prison on child abuse charges are NOT STRANGERS but the RELATIVES of the children. So, statistically, it's worse when they're "your own."





As for your last question, many people actually DO change their minds, or more accurately, they have their minds changed FOR them because they were not "careful" enough with birth control methods to prevent the conception.





When people "push" you about the child-free issue, simply tell them, "Sorry, but I don't think I'd be as good a dad as the child deserves." That might change their thinking, that you are not being "selfish" but actually have considered the needs of the child.








Have a polite day.
Reply:As life goes on, many people do change their minds so they are assuming by experience you will change too. How many times have we changed our minds while growing up from years 5 to 8, 8 to 10, 10 15, 15 to 20 etc...What used to be yucky way back when is really cool to experience now...





As we allow change to take place, and we stop trying to control, we grow and learn that half of our reasons for not doing something was simply our own fears, lack of faith or what ever to avoid ..It is called maturing...





But as you say, you do not want kids and it is about you...not the kids or a wife...and that is your free will and choice.
Reply:I was one of those people and then i fell pregnant and had a beautiful baby boy. And my though was, i cant beileve i could have missed out on this experience. I love him more then anyone or anything in this world.


One last thing there called CHILDREN or a CHILD. Kids are baby goats and just so unpolite.


No comments:

Post a Comment