Why do people say we are less polite today than we used to be?

In my opinion, people are generally respectful of other people in public, even strangers. Why do people think we are so rude today? Is it because not everyone knows which is the salad fork? or.. are we actually more rude?





There are a lot of us and we have to deal with interacting with strangers on a daily basis. But how many are assuming someone is rude just because they didn't hold the door for you? Maybe they interact with so many strangers a day, there isn't time to nod at every person and hold every door. Maybe to them, being polite is leaving you to your person space. Isn't just as rude to assume everyone all the time should maintain a high level of awareness of everyone else around them?





I don't think people should go around slamming doors on people and burping in people's faces, but I think most people don't. Are we just so sensitive that when someone does act in a rude manner we blame everyone and say the world has become a ruder place?





Serious answers pls.

Why do people say we are less polite today than we used to be?
It is about population density, the value of people's time, and a little self delusion.





I will start with the third issue. Many people see old movies of an idealist past with well-mannered children and dads in smoking jackets and confuse it with our actual past. By comparing that world to our current one, ours seems ruder.





Next, there used to be less people. If you passed 50 people on the street, it was a busy day. Now you pass 5000 in New York on a typical day. No one has the time or energy to 'tip their hat' to 5000 people. Therefore, people simply stop saying hi when on the street (which they would have done if there were only a few people on the street with them).





If you want to test this hypothesis, take a few people from a crowded city and put them in a small town for a week. They will become every bit as friendly as everyone else...while they are there.
Reply:Etiquette is not taught in schools as it once was and people are too busy,too stressed and overworked.
Reply:The reason people say that is because there are few who practice chivalry(i.e., opening doors for women), offer their seats for the elderly/pregnant/frail on a bus or train, and behaviors such as these. The generation in which those practices were taught are dying off, and the newer generations aren't teaching their children them.


There are some who still practice, but there aren't many of them left, or existing.


I'm from the old fashioned world, and so is my husband(he's in his mid 30's) He still opens the door for me(and others), If I am riding a bus or in a waiting room where seating is limited, I will offer my seat to someone who I feel is in need of that seat more than I am, stuff like that.


Generally, the world has become ruder, but it's because mutual respect is no longer taught
Reply:No, but it is true. For example, now-a-days you see boys with big pants and there underwear are showing. They only street talk to everyone, They usually call every girl a b****, And just don't respect there elders.





Now, did you see that in the old days? I think not.





Now, I'm also not saying everyone is like that, but there is more younger people being rude to there parents and there elders. Yes, there are also alot of people who are nice and well educated but the kids these days are doing all the opposite and that's why people say the world is a ruder place.
Reply:i do see your point!


However this was my first time out of my house today and just because you held the door for 18 other humans and your at the end of the day i should suffer because your fed up with hold doors! or nod..





But I perosnally don't think it's general politeness has gone!


i do think over all politness has gone.. yes people still hold doors for some and there are a great amount of people who do this!


what i find rude are companies and people who bit peoples head off because they didn't get there way!


and it wasn't even the person tey are yellings at fault!


that is disrepectfull!


more over with close relationships peeps get comfy with their friends and others that they don't excuse themselfs!


then some humans go overboard and will burb in your face but i's okay because they said excuse me!





all of this is one extream to another! but greed is the worst of them all!
Reply:I think people say that because of all those people out there that walk around wearing their feelings on their sleeve! People seem to be just waiting to complain about someone.


*You hurt my feelings.


*You just 'assumed' I was with that Asian because I'm Asian.


*You stepped in front of me - I was there first.


The list goes on and on. Everybody wants to sue somebody for something because their feelings got hurt. 'What happened to grace?
Reply:I don't really think we are any less rude than before, as you said there are many more people we are dealing with, and really out in the public I'd rather be overlooked, its a bit of an annoyance having to talk with someone you don't know, if I see a friend from church I'll say her or something though.





I remember going with a group of people (keep in mind I live with "good ole' southern people") and thought it was strange when someone held a door open for a pregnat person and it made them feel strange.


I'd feel strange if some person held a door open for me to =\
Reply:i think it cause people dont teach their kids respect for other people or their properity. while growing up everybody was aunt %26amp; uncle or mr. or mrs. to us. that was respect to them.also a thank you or please was used alot too.kids dont do that anymore they expect it to happen. ( things gave to them ). when visiting people we were to be seen and not heard. (play quietly . aloud mouth was not acceptable) now its the f word every other word comes out of peoples mouth and some just dont want to hear their cussing and carrying on.but its normal to them ,they werent taught anything else.
Reply:i would say ppl are alot less polite these days if someone bumps into you on the street you often wont here excuse me or if you are goin to slow on a street people will ride your bumper and honk there horns ppl suck
Reply:I believe most people nowadays are too busy with their schedules to take the time to stop and listen to someone's concerns or tend to their needs. It is perceived by many as rudeness if their needs aren't receiving the appropriate amount of attention they think is deserved.
Reply:Honestly, this site is a prime example of how people are rude to one another. Our generation can live behind an avatar and screenname while giving ridiclious answers and berating others. Not knowing which fork to use is not going to make or break our society, but acting in a manner that reflects who you are and demonstrates (at minimum) a respect for others (whether on-line or in the grocery store) will make/break us.


People today are very jealous and very much into instant gratification. Why be nice to someone who's not going to get them anything? I am obvisouly not speaking for the whole as there are genuinely nice people out there, but a course in manners wouldn't kill anyone.


So no, it's not about how to address an invitation, which fork to use or even knowing excetly how many courses are in a real full course meal. It's about the fact that society has lost the values (hard work, respect for others) that once *made* us care about which fork to use.
Reply:Its all perspective, how people view life in general, if they pessimistic then they'll see only the bad and ugly. I think that Americans are becoming frustrated by the lack of respect from people they encounter everyday. Remember the story about the woman who was booted off an airplane with her toddler who was kept saying "Bye Bye airplane" ? People are getting less tolerant of others who they perceive as invading their space.
Reply:In my opinion people are more rude today. This world has become more evil, impatient, and self-centered. The respect that is given today most of the time is not given unless it is received first. People talk about others behind their backs. There are no respect for teachers anymore, or parents, for that matter.





The bible says it would be like this. It is just progressively getting worse .
Reply:People say we are less polite because we are so busy now we hardly think before we speak so anything is capable of coming out ore mouths
Reply:Because the standards for polite behavior change at high speed in our modern world. Also people isolate themselves far more these days.
Reply:The women's movement is at least partly to blame. People don't know whether or not to hold the door or stand up for a woman to enter a room because they don't know whether it will be taken as a compliment or an offense.





People in the South who are taught to say Sir and Maam are ridiculed by other regions in the country who somehow find this offensive when it is meant as a sign of respect.





Girls are taught to be openly aggressive sexually to the point that old-fashioned rules about courting and dating are thrown out. All people are exposed to so much on TV, media, etc. that they are way too open about bodily functions and sexual matters that it would be more polite to keep private. As my daughter says, WTMI (way too much information). Kids are taught by cartoons and sit-coms that it's ok to burp and fart and say potty words and laugh about it and parents are bad or stupid if they don't like it.





And about the salad fork, if you can find a nice sit-down restaurant that stills brings your food to the table and has the table set the proper way with more than one fork instead of serve yourself or rolled up in a napkin, good for you because I don't know of any around here!





You can also see the rudeness by how people act in public setting such as plays,graduations, weddings, funerals, etc. Too many people don't know how to dress appropriately for these types of occasions anymore, or how to maintain the proper respect especially for solemn ceremonies. They let their kids run wild, they don't turn off their cell phones, they whoop and holler instead of "holding their applause to the end" as they were clearly instructed, etc. etc. etc. People don't seem to know the difference between a formal ceremony and a pep rally.





And don't even get me started on rude drivers!





I don't know where you live, but I have definitely seen a coarsening of society and growing level of rudeness around here, and whenever I travel to larger cities and towns, it seems to be even worse.
Reply:I agree 100% I just see it as individuals getting off on a bad start for any given day..You know that saying "Someone got off on the wrong side of the bed this morning". Just "Kill them with kindness" works brillantly with me..Have a lovely day!
Reply:in my experience generally people are rude. rarely do i hear a thank you or an excuse me. i've had people just about slam doors in my face and not even apologize. i've had people bump into me and not say excuse me. people seem to be in their own little worlds and they are the only ones that matter in it. the rest of us are there to support them and do things for them. there are some people who are polite but not many. we seem to be an "it's all about me" society
Reply:It depends on where you live - where I live now people who don't know me smile and wave - where I used to live people would shoot me a bird.
Reply:People ARE less polite than they used to be. People aren't being taught to be polite anymore. At least I'm trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that their parents just didn't teach them the basics of being polite. I figure it's better than assuming they're just a bunch of a$$ holes! And, I interact with many, many strangers a day and I still hold the door, say excuse me, etc etc. to each and every one of them because this is how I was raised. And you know what? 9 out of 10 times, I don't get the same in return. And it ticks me off to no end. And, I've gotten to the point where I say something to the jerks that just walk in front of me without saying excuse me. I say something to the jerks that just walk past me as I hold the door for them. I say something to the a$$ holes that cut me in line. Because I'm sick of it. People ARE rude. Even older people who should have been taught better are just as rude. And I hate it! I was raised differently. It is burned into my brain to treat people with dignity and respect. Every single one of them. Not just the occasional stranger, but every single person, every where! So, I'm sorry but the worls IS a ruder place and I'm sick of dealing with it.
Reply:I have found through watching the parents of children here in the foothills of NC, that most children are NOT being taught manners. The most important thing you can instill in your kids is respect for self and others.


Start with the easy ones, like please and thank-you, then get to the big ones like don't wear your hat indoors and dim your lights when driving at night.


Have a good day if you like and don't pass in curves.
Reply:I think this notion comes from communities or neighborhoods. Nowadays people tend to stick to their own homes and their own visitors rather than being active in their neighborhoods. We don't visit our neighbors just to say, "Hi, and see how you are doing." We don't take baked goods to neighbors as a friendly gesture. Many of us don't even know the names of those living around us unless our children play with their children, then we are almost forced to meet them because we are interested in who are children socialize with.





I know this is true for me. My 10 year old is opening the world of 'neighborly' communication :) Without her I wouldn't know anyone on our block. I simply smile and wave if I see someone walk by or jogging, but I don't stop to speak to them ever. In fact if I get too many people smiling at me I wonder what they are up to. That is the unfortunate truth. Not proud of it though.
Reply:Its just that..."there isnt time to nod at every person and hold every door"...our society has just become too busy to be polite like we used to in the mid 1900s I dont think as a whole we have become extremely rude, we have just dropped most of the pointless things that are considered "proper" (i.e. holding doors open, pulling out the chair for your date/wife, opening the car door for you date)
Reply:When I was little we were taught etiquette in school and there was a famous author named Munroe Leaf who had a cartoon column in all major papers regarding etiquette. Today people just don't "buy" it
Reply:I don't know where you live, but in New York, rudness is a second nature. You should be awfully specific of who "we" is.
Reply:I think that people are stressed more these days and more likely to run out of patience. Every day life is a struggle and it is easier to be rude than polite. I think everyone should be nicer to each other and the world would be a better place. It really annoys me when I put extra effort in, say, holding a door open for someone when I'm struggling with 20 bags and a baby, only for them to walk right past me without an acknowledgement, never mind a thank you. If these idiots would say thanks, more people would hold the door open an so on, I am always polite because I would be embarrassed not to be. I think in general this 'keeping up with the jones' attitude is to blame. These peple don't care though as everyone can see their new conservatory and that makes it worthwhile.....till next door buys a new car..........
Reply:One thing that I've learned from traveling, is that different cultures have different definitions as to what is considered "Polite" and what isnt.





I dont really think people are more or less rude then they were before, just people are more honest about how they feel, and some of the things that are said are considered rude by old standards.
Reply:i think people are more rude. people have less respect for others, for their elders and the languatge people use are not as polite as in the days when my grandparents were around... if that makes sense?


it has alot to do with lack of patience i think too....
Reply:Well-- these days seems like customer service has gone to POT!





It's in relation to the now renown "ME factor"
Reply:People are definitely more rude today. It doesn't matter if you come into contact with a billion people a day. You don't have to nod at people or try to engage them in any way, but it only takes a second to hold a door for someone or smile. It's about respect and common courtesy. It really annoys me when I hold the door open and the person doesn't even say thank you. (Which is probably one reason why people have quit doing it.) The only thing that matters in this life is the relationships we have with other people and the way we treat one another. Its amazing the impact you can have on someone's day just by being polite. Relationship experts say that you are likely to get whatever you give...if its a bad attitude or rudeness, you'll get that. Bottom line-people who are courteous and polite are people who aren't self-absorbed and who focus on other people's needs before their own. Those are the kind of people who I surround myself with. I won't tolerate any other kind of behavior. People are animals, you have to teach them how to treat you.
Reply:They talked about this on that show "Bullshit!" We're actually more polite than ever (and there's the political correctness stuff on top of that). They mentioned that even young children are expected to be held to standards that most people weren't held to a few decades ago--for example, even a toddler picking his nose reflects badly, even though there's little one could do about it.





We're getting MORE uptight, if anything.