People say i need to get over my internet love, and learn yo make friends ' locally' and go outside?

but right now i have alot on my plate. im struggling with the disorder i have. ive recently been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, i have traumatic symptoms of low moods constantly, inner rage, paranoia, disorganised thoughts,racing thoughts,low self worth. i want to know what friends or relashionships can i possibly form in this state? whos gonna wanna stick by me and be my friend?? my bitter experience with people is when your going through it like me, people dont really wanna be your friend, and have ulterior motives...they tend to wanna cheat or exploit people like me. and as soon as they learn about your problems, their off, and they reject you anyway..so WHY should i trust people? sure i dont like living this way. this lonely, desperate existance. but surely its better than trying to give yourself and getting hurt by people..which in my experience, people have done..im 29 now, everyone ive ever loved, trusted has left me, let me down. im angry and bitter about this

People say i need to get over my internet love, and learn yo make friends ' locally' and go outside?
wow....... u sound like u have a lot of the same problems that i have..... i'm involved in an internet relationship with a guy in america, and have been for 2 years..... family tell me that i should get out and make friends, but like u, i also suffer from very low self esteem, and i get worried about putting my trust into new friendships / relationships as i've been badly hurt by so called 'friends' in the past - to the extent where it caused me to have serious problems with anxiety and depression. i don't know what to suggest to u in order to improve your life as mine is as screwed up as yours hon, but if u ever want to talk to someone who knows just what u are going through, then feel free to IM me.
Reply:It doesn't sound like you're ready to go out and make friends. Find yourself another internet love, or some internet friends. But always lay your cards out on the table, that way you can weed out the people who can't handle the responsibility of nurturing your kind of friendship. They have a saying in German (my husband is German), there's a top that fits on every pot. There's nothing wrong with using the internet to find your pot tops. But the internet should be your springboard, not your crutch. Let it lead you to people (because people DO need people). Don't hide behind the anonymity for fear of being hurt again. Your friends are right, you should forget about the last internet love. You, however, are also right; you shouldn't trust people. They have to earn your trust. That takes more time for some people than others, and that's also okay. Good luck to you, and I wish you strength to make your situation better.
Reply:/hug





I'm really sorry to hear how down you are. Friendship, especially true friends are a special thing and don't come around very often. That being said, it sounds like you have a lot going on internally. Sometimes this can scare away people who don't truly know you yet. I've noticed that sometimes my friends who have personality issues tend to also be very self centered....everything is ALWAYS about them...realize that friendship is a give and take relationship and if you are always taking (not saying you are), it can really push people away. If you start to appear very needy, this can alienate people from you whether it's just a friend, or a romantic interest. Try dealing with your issues the best that you can and working on being happy and independant on your own. If you can do this, the friendships are soon to follow. Don't depend on other people for your own happiness.





As far as your relationship, I'm very sorry you seem to be losing someone you care about. There's really nothing you can do if the other person is dead set on moving on. Just try to be strong and realize that you are a great person with lots to offer and one day someone very special will come along. It has been my experience that things happen for a reason. Just take heart and be strong.
Reply:go for psychiatric help.
Reply:Why not try doing both. Its fine to chat online and make friends, just try widening your circle of friends on the net and not narrow it down to just one or two, that way you are less likely to be left feeling alone.


I would check if there is a group or organisation nearby where people with similar problems can meet. This would be a great way of you meeting new people and getting out for a while. You never know you may form some really good friendships, and they definately wont pity you or want to exploit you as they are in the same boat.


Why not phone your local doctors or health clinic and ask if any groups or day centers are available near were you live.


Hope this helps !
Reply:Hey how are you? Sounds to me like you need to be true to yourself. If your comfortable with the way your life is going at the moment then keep it this way, but if you feel that you must listen to the people around you then do it, sometimes the people around you can see your life from a perspective you can't. Maybe you should try to help your self, put your self first. Have you tried professional help of some sort working through your problems might help ease off some of the extra tension in your life. I'm 21 and my doctor recently recommended me to a counsellor with the fear that i might be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. She's helping me with my problems. Make sure your ready to be social and that your looking for friends in the right places. Good-Luck.