Why do people say gay is a choice?

It bothers me when some people say that I chose to be gay.Why on earth would I choose to be gay? Why would I give up the oppertunity to have a nice family and wife and live a normal life style? Why would I choose a life style that is filled with hate and ignorant people. I've tried to chose to be str8, but it does not work. I did have a girlfriend but I felt very unconfortable being around her, and some people tell me if I marry a women I would be str8, and many people know it does not work and to me I think that is a big sin. I hate it when people tell me that I choose to be gay because I didn't and I hate some of these christians out their, who tell me that it's a choice and it's a sin because a book that is over 2,000 years old that is filled with soo many mistakes, and was writen by people who did not know what homosexualty was says it's a sin. So why do people say gay is a choice?

Why do people say gay is a choice?
they really shouldnt, but they might just not understand.....or because they'v just heard everyone else say it
Reply:I agree with you , im gay and i dont like being told that this is a concious choice i made myself . Its not a disease either and people who have religous beliefs against this should keep them to themselves. Those comments are made to hurt and belittle people and i feel sorry for them that they cant accept people for who they are . I wouldnt change the way i am , Granted it is hard and there are a few more obsticles along the way ( eg close minded weirdos and not having the 2.4 children thing). I think SOME people say being gay is a choice to make it out to be something that we have brought on oursleves , just try and ignore them . You just have to be happy with you and if anyone has anything to say against that then they can go eat there 2000 year old book
Reply:Your question really struck a nerve with me.





I am a straight woman, and I've been DEEPLY in love with a gay man for about 10 years now. We've been "closer" in this time than I have EVER been with a straight man, including my ex-husband - but not in the PHYSICAL sense of the word. He has been well aware of my love for him for many years now. I guess he "loves" me as much as a man who is BENT on maintaining his gayness CAN - but that's no longer good enough. I want more from him - I NEED more from him than just his "friendship"! This situation has been eating away at me FOREVER, it seems, and I just CAN'T deal with it any longer.





A few nights ago, we had another show-down. I have ALWAYS said that he's gay because he was molested by males as an infant, and on through childhood, and therefore, grew up thinking this was "normal". I believe he could overcome this if he really TRIED, but since he DOESN'T try, he is gay by CHOICE! No one is putting a gun to his head and FORCING him to do gay things. It's VOLUNTARY behavior.





HIS position on all this is that I should just learn to accept that he is my "GAY FRIEND" - period - and that's THAT. Oh, and stop "judging" him!!!!





Personally, I couldn't care less if every man on earth turned queer - just not HIM!!! It breaks my heart - it's destroyed all my hopes %26amp; dreams - it's RUINED MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!





I love this man more than life itself, but I just can't go on like we were. We hung out together almost every single night for many years; watching movies, listening to music, having dinner, going places, or just sitting together talking. Constant companions. Almost like an "old married couple", in a way, except when it came to the end of the night - then it was just "Good-night", and NOTHING ELSE - and I would be made PAINFULLY AWARE all over again that this wasn't REAL.





Anyway, we both decided to just end it all the other night. I think if he REALLY loved me, he COULD and WOULD change. He thinks if I REALLY loved HIM, I would accept him for "who he is" - a GAY man. At this point, it seems to me we will NEVER see a resolution, so maybe it IS time we just call it quits.





But the emptiness will never go away for me, at least. While HE goes on his merry little way, pursuing other MEN, I will be forever alone, wondering WHY love wasn't enough to overcome his perversion (and DEEP DOWN, he KNOWS that's what it is!).





HOW can I ever get past this???! Please don't tell me what HE did - to find some nice straight guy to make me happy. I've NEVER met one in my whole, entire life who could even BEGIN to hold a candle to him, and I'm 50!





Hypothetically speaking, of course, is there ANYTHING any woman on EARTH could say or do to change YOUR mind about that gay thing????! It IS all in your MIND, you know!!!!!! You say you had a "girfriend", but she made you "uncomfortable" - WHY is that?! Were you just as PHOBIC about any type of physical contact with a woman as MY gay "boyfriend" was/is????? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT - please shed some light on this psychology for me. I always thought that if you LOVE someone, physical closeness should be a welcome thing. WHY is it that with a gay man, LOVE does not COUNT for ANYTHING - it's all about the "Almighty Penis", and without THAT, you may as well be a NON-ENTITY????!!! HOW can he profess to "love" me in any way, shape, or form - and yet deprive me of the ecstacy I would find in his arms???! WHY doesn't my everlasting love and devotion outweigh that urge to do nasty things with another member of the same sex??!? HELP! I really truly JUST DON'T GET IT!!!





Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. It's a very complex situation. NO ONE seems to understand my very unique problem, and I've never met another woman who had to deal with this very profound heartbreak. This is really killing me. Even if you have no answers for me, I guess it helps a little just "talking" to someone about it.....
Reply:i believe people are born gay. im not gay but i support gays. i feel like its none of our busniess how people live there lives. if they want to be gay let them. who made us in charge to tell them that they are wrong. maybe we are wrong. im a christian but i believe the christian way is to except everyone. the bible i feel like has some things wrong with it but some of it is true and i have read things that we are not to judge and we are to love everyone. so yep.
Reply:You have a choice in so far as you can have Buggery or you do not have buggery. Call yourself what you like, Gay, bent, or whatever, you could be a celibate gay. Why must you take part in homosexual sex. Please answer, this is the part that always puzzles me. I fully understand how two men can love each other, but in order to prove love, you do not have to sodomise each other. You may not have a choice as to whether or not you are gay, but you certainly do have one whether or not to have the gay sex..................
Reply:A baby is born and it learns everything. Often as the baby learns things, it will remember the result, like forming an attraction on the same gender or even maybe formed an attraction on opposite gender. Some children have a gender nonconformity, that may be influenced by hormones or it may also have been a child that learned gender nonconformity, but it is still a different issue than forming an attraction. So yes it is a choice made, and sometimes the choice was made innocently and feel like it was not a choice later in life. Ask yourself if you can remember when you first formed an attraction on the same gender, and what it meant to you. You must have liked it and that is why you made an Innocent choice as a child. It later becomes your choice if you want to make changes in some of the choices you have made. It can be a long and winding road, and you do not have to make split second decisions. What a Christian should say is if you want some help to make the best decisions in life, ask Jesus Christ to help you, and be patient and forgiven of yourself, because to learn a life long process.
Reply:Why do you think you didnt choose it,? what I want to know.
Reply:being gay is not a choice it comes naturally.im christian but people shouldnt say that you chose to be gay. You are what your are. They cant change that. I have gay and bi friends out there but i like them on who they are. And you know sometimes...i like some guys but they come out gay but you know its unique.
Reply:Its not a choice, its a disease. There not right